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A Modicum of Monologing

A contentious topic in modern villainy. Some consider it passé, others essential. Our experts will attempt to untangle the Gordian Knot of the modern age: Is it worth it to monologue?

You've played it out in your mind a hundred times. You've gathered your foes. All those who opposed your scheme, nay, your vision, have been rendered helpless. A literal captive audience.

Maybe one of them asks a question. Maybe you merely take the opportunity. It all comes gushing out. The why, the how, every detail past, present, and future. Your adversaries sit, awed by your daring brilliance and humiliated by your scope.

Except life rarely goes as we see it in our heads. In reality your opposition will break their binds, or be secretly recording you, or they're merely biding for time, hoping to keep you distracted.

Our experts agree: most times a bad guy gets foiled, it wasn't their plan that was at fault, it was their need to be acknowledged that brought them down.

Frequent contributor El Professor Misterioso says, "It is a common desire. We are an ambitious people, we long for our intelligence and drive to be recognized, validated. Still, it is a dangerous distraction."

Confidence Artist Nicki Slick confirms, "You don't need a volcano lair and an archenemy to fall for this one. Early in my career I couldn't resist bragging to a new 'partner' about my sweet con. Classic real estate fraud, air-tight. Thing is, the guy was a smooth undercover PI. Got all the info he needed to burn my whole operation."

Both of these distinguished experts have the same advice: no matter how much you want to rub your superiority into everyone's face, don't do it.

However, Lord Impus the Implacable disagrees. "There is a time and place for all things," he says. "Once your plot is satisfied, once it is complete and nothing, not even direct intervention from a capricious God, can undo it, then and only then do you deliver your scathing speech."

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